PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
