I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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