fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
