I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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