A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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