I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
