i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
