You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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