my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
