He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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