This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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