it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I got inside last night via doggy door
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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