Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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