ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
