"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
