I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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