I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
