Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
