are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
someone get that fucking seahorse.
People in love make me want to vomit
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
