Swine flu. Run for my life!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
