didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just come out here and I will go home with you...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
