do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
