i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
