i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
