real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im six kinds of drunk right now
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize