Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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