drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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