It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
