Dual....:-)
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
is it fun? or sober?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize