This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
