This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
