i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
