"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize