I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
