Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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