He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
His nipple licking is glorious
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