Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I see more hoeing in ur future
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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