Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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