i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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