Need sex. Gaining weight.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
