hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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