So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
