i just made my gag reflex go away.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
