dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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