it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
