Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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