the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
