your room smells of hookers.
And success
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
