If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
