Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
