Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
