i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
