You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Randomize