at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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