you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
