YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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