Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
