Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
