my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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