Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize