dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
