guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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