just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize